Reminiscences of the Maximum City

Sometimes it becomes a hard fact to sink in, that Mumbai no longer remains the place I stay in.

It felt like yesterday when I packed my bags and moved to this city for the second time, with a suitcase stuffed with more dreams than the first time (earlier it was supposedly to study). The only little (may seem big for some) difference this time was having to be all on my own - To find a shelter, a social life and manage a new job – all by myself. All good though as expected, the harsh yet welcoming city welcomed. A decent PG was not hard to find, fortunately with like-minded people around.

Speak of Mumbai and people start picturing the sea, the high-rises, the tall offices, the rains and the street food.  For me, this picture will be altogether a different one now. For me, that home (will not demean it calling a PG at this point) is Mumbai in the first of thoughts. Staying with a group of 7-8 men of varying backgrounds, professions, and age group, was an experience of its kind. While most of us belonged to different cities, there was this feeling of loneliness itself being away from our families that bound us together. Every evening after dinner, we would gather in the compound of the building and try to make everyone feel home, albeit unknowingly. We would smoke, share how the day was for each one of us, talk about our little-big problems, take a brisk walk and sign off to our rooms finally. The most memorable of them all were, though, those evenings where we would get wasted with ridiculous quantities of alcohol, while Amit, a singer and acoustic guitarist by hobby and ad guy by profession, would sing and we all would join as the chorus. There would be laughs, jibes, I-know-better arguments, and sometimes aimless wandering on the roads in not-so-sober state post all the clamor.

However, staying away from home had its own share of unpleasant ways of life. I recall often eating alone, only to leave the meals midway. The days sometimes seemed like what I had between two rounds of sleep, mechanical and monotonous. I would try to keep myself happy and joyous at work, as if I was trying to gather as much happiness as I could from the people around. Leaving from work, knowing no one waits for you back home, the predictability of what lied ahead after those work hours, and taking the walk back home alone sometimes… all this would become unbearable sometimes. The rains would only add to the gloom and low states of moods, when sometimes I would just sit by the window alone and gaze out for hours waiting for it to stop.

Then there was a strange fear, an apprehension of the fact that now that you are here, how much difference would your absence make to the lives of those who you care about? Would they care about you less when you go back? I would call home, my friends, the one I loved, and speak my heart out often about how life became so difficult there sometimes. They would hear, empathize in most genuine way possible and tell me it was only a matter of time, till all this changed for good. Deep inside, I knew that they were only spoken words, that don’t matter, at least until the change.

Now that I am back to where I belonged, I look back and see if the experience was fulfilling or pleasant or unworthy or merely a learning one, and I realize it was all – at different points in time. It is immensely satisfying indeed to come back and find that the people around you still stand where you left them. At least most of them.  They still smile back at you, when you smile at them. And as I unpack my bags back home now  - I’m thinking to myself – Am I the same person as I was when I had packed them? I am not too sure… but somewhere, I feel I’ve grown up to be more tolerant, if not wiser.

Like a famous film maker said about Mumbai, “It's not so much what you learn about Mumbai, it's what you learn about yourself, really… You find out a lot about yourself and your tolerance, and about your inclusiveness”.

Open Letter to the Great Maharashtrian Leader

Dear Founder President, Maharashtra Navnirman Sena

Mumbai, Maharashtra

Seeing the recent unfortunate incidents of violence and communal riots in Mumbai and your strong condemn of them, especially the one occurred at Azad Maidan on August 11^th, I am enthused to appreciate your concerns for your very own “Marathi Manoos” and towards your much ‘owned’ city Mumbai. But before I write any further, I would like to introduce myself as an ordinary North Indian, who has spent almost 5 years in Mumbai, while pursuing my education and earning a livelihood. I must say despite having spent a significant part of my youth here, I still feel like an outsider, thanks to your consistent propagation of treating North Indians as such. Now I think I can begin putting forth my thoughts.

1.     I congratulate you for your another successful attempt to cash on the unfortunate incident of riots at Azad Maidan. You could not have timed your jibe better in calling the migrants from Bihar, or as you would prefer to call them - ‘Biharis,’ as the fire starters of the riots. Though all of us saw many videos of the incident on news channels and video streaming sites and the people we saw looting police weapons and molesting female constables definitely did not look like Biharis, I am sure you as a great leader and wise politician could see more than what meets the eye.

 2.   You did a righteous thing by threatening to declare these migrants as ‘infiltrators’. Of course they are infiltrators; for they continue to dare to migrate to your Mumbai in a pursuit of livelihood as rickshaw drivers, taxi drivers, hawkers and other small jobs, which form a support system to many big businesses and the day-to-day lives of Mumbaikars. They are silly for they assume they can freely move to any state they want and fail to read the fine print of the constitution, which you surely cannot allow to keep Mumbai a safe place. To assume that all ‘Biharis’ are inherently criminal in nature is the safest thing to do to protect a Big Metropolitan city like Mumbai from their menace.

 3. It was a strong countermove from you when the media started criticising your honest comments. You dared to threaten the Hindi channels from running on television networks in Maharashtra, should they try to ‘misquote’ you. Maharashtra definitely does not need any sort of information, news or knowledge that has ‘Non-Marathi’ origins. It is a state that can run very efficiently without any sources – whether they are human, knowledge or natural – being supplied from outside its Geographical borders.

 4.   Your continued efforts towards condemning our neighbor country and foiling any attempts by our Governments, media or industries to improve the relations with them are also worth-mentioning. Your party’s activists recent actions to criticise, and vandalize the hoardings of a soon-to-start musical reality show because it will also have Pakistani contestants are more than justified. After all, when you would not allow people from different state of your own country to ‘infiltrate’ in your state, how can you do so to the people who belong to a country with which we have a history of 65 years of severed relations!?

 5.  You are the most selfless leader this beleaguered country can ever be led by! Knowing that North Indian migrants hold the key to your party’s victory in at least more than half of the 288 urban constituencies of the assembly constituencies in Mumbai, Thane, Nashik, and Pune, you continue to pursue your anti North-Indian propaganda. Another fact that can complement the earlier is that more than 30 percent of the Mumbai population has migrated from North India, and more than 80 percent of the Mumbai population is ‘Non-Marathi’ – majority of the vote bank and wealth creators for the city. You definitely are a true leader of your Maharashtrian Janata who has chosen ‘uplifting’ their state, over the good of his political career.

I wish I could go on and on, but the limitation of my wisdom prevents me for writing further. I hope you would continue to set an example of this great leadership and challenging the decades-old constitution crafted by some myopic leaders, and to question the absurd axiom known as ‘democracy’.

Sincerely,

-          An outsider

Lessons from a Superhero Movie

So “The Dark Knight Rises” mania has got on alike to every superhero flicks’ fan, and to those who went to watch this one because of the hype created all over about how great this epic conclusion to the trilogy is. However, rarely do the superhero movies leave a lasting impact on our indifferent minds, since they are mostly supposed to take you to an imaginative journey where nothing seems impossible, and no action seems unreal. This time, however, TDKR left me thinking about it much longer than any other film has. Not because I am a superhero movies’ fan and had been waiting for this to release since I first saw the teaser poster on the internet, but because the movie actually had so many things to learn as a simple human being. I had been thinking about them – the dialogues which are not mere dialogues but unforgettable sayings, and so I chose to type them and share.

-         To any big purpose to your life, you have to give nothing less than everything. Recall the scene where Selina Kyle is trying to talk Batman into leaving Gotham. She says, “You don’t owe these people anymore. You’ve given them everything.” To this the Batman replies, “Not Everything. Not Yet.”

-          You are as old and tired as your spirit is. Recall the scene in which a worn out, beaten and tired Bruce makes several attempts to escape from the prison, only to succeed at last. And it was Bruce who did it, not the Batman, who had to nothing more than his undying zeal to accomplish his escape.

-          A hero can be anyone. Even a man doing something as simple and reassuring as putting a coat around a little boy's shoulders to let him know that the world hadn't ended. Indeed. We need not save the world from the Armageddon to be called Heroes. Extending a helping hand should be enough most of the times.

-          Suffering builds character. There cannot be anything closer to the truth than this dialogue by the character Talia in the movie. The people with strongest characters – good or bad – are built because these people suffered. A lot.

-          Maybe it’s time we stop trying to avoid the truth and let it have its day.  I could not use any other lesson better than this one at the moment. Truth, no matter how harsh it is, does least damage when accepted the earliest.

-          The knife that waits years without forgetting that slips quietly in between the bones and cuts deepest. There is no stronger feeling known to mankind than vengeance. The longer it lasts, more destructive it becomes, albeit to both.

(Compiled from the movie The Dark Knight Rises)

God is a Banker

“Oh, come in Vikas!” Bozo exclaimed, reacting as if I have just returned victorious from the WW III. He was so busy gazing at his laptop screen that he did not even notice I was half-in his cabin even before he permitted. This was typical of him – whenever one entered his cabin, he looked busy like the bank’s entire top-line rests on his shoulders. But having worked with him for almost 4 years now, I exactly knew that he couldn’t be doing anything more valuable than checking his salary account to see if this month’s incentives have been credited, or checking his stock portfolio that has ballooned over the years, just like his globular belly!

Mr. Brijesh Chakraborty, or Bozo as we all called him, can rightly be touted as the sole villain of the otherwise uninteresting story of my life. A ­­MBA from Lancaster University Management School, he was the branch manager of Breach Candy Branch ever since I joined Scottish Development Bank (Name changed for obvious reasons!) Nobody liked him for his I-am-always-right attitude, his pass-the-buck tactics, his mammoth sized body and well, the most eminent of all – He was our boss! A 40-something man originally from Kolkata, he, I must say, had climbed the ladder much faster than other boring-to-death looking counterparts of his. Our frustration found the most fulfilling outlet in calling him by a nickname we had revered him with, after Dhingra’s Black Labrador Retriever. Dhingra and I were best pals at work and well, the most reliable ears to each other whenever we wanted to curse Bozo or the bank in general.

“Vikas, I have called you for something very important! I was looking at your scorecard for the quarter ending December, and your numbers don’t look very encouraging. You still have an achievement gap of almost 27%, which should be of great concern to us right now!” This was one more thing about Bozo that irritated most of his team members– his habit of quoting everything in absurd figures - “27 percent of target”, “top 10.25 percentile of the performers” and so on! I most of the time ended up doing mental calculations and missed what Bozo was actually blabbering. “You still have 2 months before the FY ends, but only one month to cover your lacklustre performance.” “Sir I have 3-4 leads in the pipeline that…” I stammered but he interrupted before I could even finish. “Look Vikas, you know the industry is seeing tough times and no one will be spared if the objective goals are not met. I have been entrusted by senior management to turnaround this struggling branch, and I will do it… even if that means taking certain harsh and unfortunate steps! On the other hand, you achieve this gap and the achievers club contest takes you to France for 4 days and 3 nights! What else could you wish for?!!”

What else could I wish for? Well nothing much but to see a hundred sabres getting pricked in your fat belly, and you being boiled in burning oil and left to rot in hell! I said none of these and simply walked out of his cabin. It was already 8 in the evening and I went up to Dhingra and Jose! Jose was the third in the we-get-spanked-everyday club. A young engineer from IIT, Dhingra and I always made fun of how he could have been the next Narayan Murthy but one wrong move at the beginning of his career had led him to sell Insurance policies to other IITians!

They could make out from my long face that I have been tormented again and it was time to hit the Ghetto. It was our usual get away for ‘a few drinks’, only in two situations – first, whenever we felt life was being unfair to us, and second, whenever we felt it was being more than fair to us! That evening we drank till 12.30 in the night and by the time we thought it was enough, there was a sea of empty beer pints lying in front of us. I signed Dhingra and Jose off and set off for home which was a decent 15 KMs from this joint. I realised I was driving faster than I usually do while I am drunk. “And I will do it… even if that means taking certain harsh and unfortunate steps!” Bozo’s words still echoed in my ears, as I accelerated the car to see the speedometer hit the self-destructive 120 mark. I started planning the next day’s client meetings already and eventually imagining myself paragliding in Treh. Before I could ‘safely land’, I saw an old man speeding up his cycle, trying to cross the road before I could reach him. They say when times are bad; you end up catching the flying arrow in your butt! And that’s what exactly happened with me – for instead of applying the brakes I tried to manoeuvre the car on the other side. Screech and Crash!

I woke up at the hospital bed with almost every living soul I knew circled around me like a team of Herpetologists have found a rarely seen lizard. Akansha, my wife, gave me a melodramatic smile and broke the uncomfortable silence around, “Thank God! Don’t worry; it’s just a minor fracture in your right arm and few stitches on the forehead. If it wasn’t for sir, god only knows what could have happened…” and she turned to him. Bozo!??! Before I could make any sense out of it, Bozo said, “They don’t say drink and drive are lethal combination for nothing, my boy. Luckily I was driving down the same road when I saw a crowd gathered around your rammed car. I immediately pulled you out and got you here. You had been unconscious for almost 2 hours and then doctors gave you painkillers which induced sleep.” I was looking at him with blank expressions as he continued. “Don’t worry about your work Vikas! I will have it sorted out. Wish you a good recovery. Take good care of him Akansha.” He smiled and made a quick exit.

I saw him walk out of the hospital room and went into this deep thought. God surely is a banker.

The Day That Never Comes

I wake up to the isolated space, uncomfortably laid for a shadow and the soul of it

Longing for the yellow of the sunshine, the cheer of the start

For the greetings from my own, for the love that soaked the heart

For the Christmas bells, the songs of the joy

For the touch that tells me “I am there”, that says “world’s nothing but a beautiful place”

A smile that starts ‘cos I smiled, an embrace that knew I needed it

I laugh, lest they hear me wail

Laugh till I cease to bear its parody

I walk, lest they know I am fallen

Walk till I lose my breath

I hope, hope till it changes to mean a distasteful medicine, Keeping me alive yet suffering

I scratch the walls of my heart to let out what I hold inside

For now I taste reality, now I see what life has become

There was no sunshine but the gloom of the clouds

I see no one I belonged to but the strangers staring in my face

I hear nothing but the shrieks of the cold-hearted

No one touched me but the dry winds that parch me all over

For there was no smile but the negativity of the agitated

I lie down, wrapping the darkness around,

Still hoping, hoping to wake up to a brighter day, a clearer sky.

The (un)Social Network

8 years ago when an otherwise ordinary looking guy from Harvard College created facebook, he had not imagined he is going to change the world’s social order as it existed then. Within a time span that seems seconds for a business to be profitable, this unique phenomenon did one more thing- to make Mark Zuckerburg the youngest billionaire on the planet.

It all started as what looked like a fad for the people subscribing to it, and ended up being a F.A.D. (explained later here) for many of them. Yes, most of the people started using it thinking it was something very unique, interesting and “cool to be on”, totally oblivious to the consequences it was bound to have on their day-to-day lives. To begin with, let me clarify one thing – I am neither a cynic nor was I born in the Stone Age. To be honest, I am myself an addict to this networking site. So to say, I am rather a victim and not a problem-solver here. Which is why it worries me everyday how the technology brought to life to make our lives easier is doing exactly the opposite.

Before I delve any further, most of you may negate what I say and stop reading further, thinking – every technology has its negatives, what does this man has against facebook?! The answer is NOTHING. It’s how, and how much, of it we are using is where the problem starts. A website which aimed to make connecting with each other easier is actually making us social-secludes. This point is proven when many of us ask ourselves – when was the last time I called an old friend I was out of touch with? ("I can’t recall; it’s easier to post “Hey, how have you been?” on his or her wall!") Or when was the last time you wished a friend his or her birthday by sending flowers or a greeting card? ("Are you kidding me!? That’s a thing of the 90’s!") How the social networking has taken out personal touch out of how we socialise is like a post…errr writing on the wall.

Another major issue with even more serious consequences is how social networking has actually become a rostrum for self-propagation. “Just got my new car – A cool Mercedes C! Thanks Dad!”, “Off for a vacation to Hawaii for a week!” – All sound too familiar, don’t they? This is like adding fuel to fire in our already speeding, never-ending mad race of outdoing our friends, colleagues and relatives. It’s not evil to be competitive, but when it all takes a more complex form of envy, dissatisfaction with one’s own life and later, depression is what has serious repercussions.

And then there are other mental anomalies psychologists keep talking about – one of them mostly ignored as a cultural commonality is F.A.D. or facebook addiction disorder, a mental disorder where the victim cannot endure even a single day or two of withdrawal from checking his or her facebook account. Doing so only leads to anxiety and restlessness. A research in US in 2010 suggested that as many as 350 million people worldwide are suffering from this disorder. And the number, needless to say, is rising.

Alright, what do we do then? Most of you will read my blog for the last time if I suggest deactivating your account. Of course I am not doing that. But what we can do here is to bring some amount of discipline on how we use it and how much we use it. We can start regulating our timing and time span that we dedicate to checking our facebook account, which will obviously be a gradual exercise. The other way is to inculcate a self-discipline as to what we post and write. After all, it’s a social networking, and not “blatant bragging”, site.

Lastly, next time you feel like knowing how is that high school friend doing, do not snoop into his or her profile. Instead, find out his or her number and just make a phone call. I am sure he or she will tell you how great feeling that is, without hitting the “like” button!