I wake up to the isolated space, uncomfortably laid for a shadow
and the soul of it
Longing for the yellow of the sunshine, the cheer of the start
For the greetings from my own, for the love that soaked the heart
For the Christmas bells, the songs of the joy
For the touch that tells me “I am there”, that says “world’s
nothing but a beautiful place”
A smile that starts ‘cos I smiled, an embrace that knew I needed
it
I laugh, lest they hear me wail
Laugh till I cease to bear its parody
I walk, lest they know I am fallen
Walk till I lose my breath
I hope, hope till it changes to mean a distasteful medicine,
Keeping me alive yet suffering
I scratch the walls of my heart to let out what I hold inside
For now I taste reality, now I see what life has become
There was no sunshine but the gloom of the clouds
I see no one I belonged to but the strangers staring in my face
I hear nothing but the shrieks of the cold-hearted
No one touched me but the dry winds that parch me all over
For there was no smile but the negativity of the agitated
I lie down, wrapping the darkness around,
Still
hoping, hoping to wake up to a brighter day, a clearer sky. 